Moving out and up?

I've finally moved out.

Now what?

Sexy

I'm feeling exceptionally sexy today.

So much so that I've taken to walking around the house completely nude for the morning hours. I've been sunning myself in the backyard since all the roommates has dissipated to either work or play activities yonder.

I just wish there was someone I could flirt with now without complicated consequences.

Instinct

I've taken my mind out of the equation. I'm running on instinct.

I doubt its a good thing. But it is keeping me sane.

I'm moving out in week or so. Life is flying by me at a record pace. I'm just trying to keep up with it.

So many lessons. So many hours of work. I can barely keep up.

Barely succeeding.

Instinct.

Lost

I'm still trying to figure out where I am going.

I feel like I just hit my life with a wrecking ball. I'm wondering if this change I made is really what I want. If this is really the direction I wanted to go in.

I look around me and I see the rubble of my relationship at my feet and then I close my eyes and pretend its not there; Plowing through my life with my usual step. Only now I feel a bit numb inside.

I lost myself somewhere. It was my biggest fear since I was a kid. I've lost myself and I didn't know how to get it back. Though the best way I know how is to have myself to myself and pick up the pieces of my identity along the way.

He says he didn't see it coming. But everyone else is being supportive. Everyone else says they've been waiting for this to happen. Everyone else says 'you've got to do what you've got to do'.

I don't know what I'm doing. I'm flying blind. I wish someone could just help me get my feet back on solid ground.

Hurt

I just broke up with the person who works so hard to make me happy.

I'm sorry. I just couldn't do it anymore.
It hurt too much to not be able to love you as much as you loved me.

Incidentally Falling

I don't know if you just made my life harder or easier.

Do you really think I'm just going to jump your bones anytime I want to hang out with you?

No. I am going to jump yours because for a super nerd, you're pretty hot with a great rack and I am sure I could do things to you that would make your head spin.

When I start thinking about the whole thing my heart starts to pound and my breath becomes shallow. I feel those little flutters start in my stomach.

There is no way I'm falling in love.

I don't know this guy.

He's just someone I work with.

This is just emotions running away with me.

I'm after that rush of being with someone new.

I can't go diving straight into a relationship after leaving one.

This isn't happening.

I definitely can't date someone I work with.

I'm just fantasizing he has a real interest in me.

I'm just a girl jumping to conclusions...

"It is very often nothing but our own vanity that deceives us. Women fancy admiration means more than it does."

- Elizabeth Bennet from Pride and Prejudice

I'm just putting emotions in the situation that both don't belong and are probably just a consequence of my imagination.

Grr...

Men are annoying.

That is all.