Thursday, December 21, 2006

Losing Control

I want him.

And I don't just want him sexually. Well there's definately that. But I just want him near me, holding my hand, stroking my shoulder/knee/arm, watching tv, reading, chatting to friends. There's a certain magnetic feeling between us. I desparately don't want to give him up even for a moment. I don't even know if I can put it into words anymore. It's all scrambled in my brain.

I try to maintain a certain decorum and be the queen of coolness. But when it comes to him, there is nothing cool about me. I want to be close to him but when I do get close, its like my body takes on a life of its own. It stops listening to what I try to say. Its a loss of control.

It's terrifying, frustrating, worrisome,

and completely and utterly addicting.


I bought this spectacular little black dress this morning. Spent money when I shouldn't have especially this close to Christmas. Waited in suspense all day long just to it home to prance around since the two minutes appraisal in the dressing room at Penneys.

I really can't afford this...

But it is fabulous.

I really can't be spending this money...

Its black, I would wear it more than once. Every girl should have a little black dress. It's a fashion thing.

It's a little snug...

It's sexy.

It shows my knees. I hate my knees...

Oh get off it, you love it. It is on sale...


This dress is so mine

I don't indulge in being female very often. I actually try to supress the impulse any time it tries to rear its ugly pink, fashion-consious head.

But this really is a fabulous dress. I'm so going to knock them dead.