I want him.
And I don't just want him sexually. Well there's definately that. But I just want him near me, holding my hand, stroking my shoulder/knee/arm, watching tv, reading, chatting to friends. There's a certain magnetic feeling between us. I desparately don't want to give him up even for a moment. I don't even know if I can put it into words anymore. It's all scrambled in my brain.
I try to maintain a certain decorum and be the queen of coolness. But when it comes to him, there is nothing cool about me. I want to be close to him but when I do get close, its like my body takes on a life of its own. It stops listening to what I try to say. Its a loss of control.
It's terrifying, frustrating, worrisome,
and completely and utterly addicting.