Saturday, January 19, 2008

New Job: Week 2

It's getting better. Boss Lady acknowledges my presence a bit more. English Lass and I have become friends. i'm still not ok with the roomate situation at the moment however. I haven't had much time away from her. i need some time alone.
The tears that have been building over the last two weeks finally broke the dam today. I didn't get to ride and that triggered it. It seems a bit childish but it was just everything that was bothering me coming to a head. Luckily the barn was empty and I could just bury my head in the horse's side and sob while Boss Lady and English Lass were showing horses to prosepective buyers. I need a friend outside of work around here but with these hours its not like I have time to get away from the barn or camper to socialize. Even if I had time, I probably wouldn't have the energy.
On the brightside the horses have monday off. Which means I have a day off. Kind of. I still have to feed and such but at least I can relax a bit more.
It is getting better.
I have a our legged friend who follows me around and sleep in my bed with me.
I bought him a ball. He's addicted to the thing.

Saturday, January 12, 2008

Venting: Week 1 of New Job


I'm not enjoying Florida so much. I'm just not feeling welcome really. It's not that Boss Lady and English Lass aren't nice. They are. I just feel like a neglected dog that gets the occasional hello and pats on the shoulder when they notice I'm there.
Don't mind me. I'm just working my ass off for you. That's all.
They both love to talk. A lot. and it really doesn't matter if anyone is actually listening. But I do listen. And when I say something, it usually gets shot down for like ten minutes when a simple 'no' would do.
I know it's because I'm new and I'm under a lot of stress but I really just want to go home. I want a hug.
I've been fighting tears all day for no good reason. I cant wait until I get paid. Maybe then I'll feel some validation and satifaction. I think I would even be content to be back in Georgia. I miss my own space. This sharing a camper deal isn't nice. Especially since the couch/futon bed I'm in is the most uncomfortable thing I've ever been on. And now I'm expected to fold it up every morning... sigh...
English Lass can't even get to the barn on time ANYTIME. It's so frustrating. So I do most of the work just because I want to be done before five. These ten hour days are going to kill me. I would rather get the work done early all at once and then taking a break the rest of the evening.
...

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Heavy


I'm so exhausted from working ten hour days nonstop for the last four days.
I can't wait until my body gets used to this life.
I've reached the point of exhaustion where everything threatens to make me cry. All my limbs feels about ten pounds heavier than they should be. And yet, I can't relax enough to fall asleep when I do get a break. And we're leaving for a show tomorrow.
God save me.

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Moved

I'm all moved in my cozy little one room apartment. It's super tiny but its a space all my own. Tacky covers and all. Now if I could just get internet... I will soon. Hopefully...
Anyway, this is a super short post on my workmates computer since she has internet. and a slightly larger apartment with a real stove. Not that I'm jealous or anything. And I'm not actually. Except for the internet.

Friday, January 4, 2008

Moving Up and Out



I'm leaving tomorrow.

My car is almost packed.

Seriously, there are suitcases and boxes lining the roof of my car. I just hope I don't have to make any sudden stops or all my stuff will fly from the back of my car to crash into the back of my head .
Wish me luck.