Venting: Week 1 of New Job

I'm not enjoying Florida so much. I'm just not feeling welcome really. It's not that Boss Lady and English Lass aren't nice. They are. I just feel like a neglected dog that gets the occasional hello and pats on the shoulder when they notice I'm there.
Don't mind me. I'm just working my ass off for you. That's all.
They both love to talk. A lot. and it really doesn't matter if anyone is actually listening. But I do listen. And when I say something, it usually gets shot down for like ten minutes when a simple 'no' would do.
I know it's because I'm new and I'm under a lot of stress but I really just want to go home. I want a hug.
I've been fighting tears all day for no good reason. I cant wait until I get paid. Maybe then I'll feel some validation and satifaction. I think I would even be content to be back in Georgia. I miss my own space. This sharing a camper deal isn't nice. Especially since the couch/futon bed I'm in is the most uncomfortable thing I've ever been on. And now I'm expected to fold it up every morning... sigh...
English Lass can't even get to the barn on time ANYTIME. It's so frustrating. So I do most of the work just because I want to be done before five. These ten hour days are going to kill me. I would rather get the work done early all at once and then taking a break the rest of the evening.
...

Heavy

I'm so exhausted from working ten hour days nonstop for the last four days.

I can't wait until my body gets used to this life.

I've reached the point of exhaustion where everything threatens to make me cry. All my limbs feels about ten pounds heavier than they should be. And yet, I can't relax enough to fall asleep when I do get a break. And we're leaving for a show tomorrow.

God save me.

Moved

I'm all moved in my cozy little one room apartment. It's super tiny but its a space all my own. Tacky covers and all. Now if I could just get internet... I will soon. Hopefully...
Anyway, this is a super short post on my workmates computer since she has internet. and a slightly larger apartment with a real stove. Not that I'm jealous or anything. And I'm not actually. Except for the internet.

Moving Up and Out

I'm leaving tomorrow.

My car is almost packed.

Seriously, there are suitcases and boxes lining the roof of my car. I just hope I don't have to make any sudden stops or all my stuff will fly from the back of my car to crash into the back of my head .

Wish me luck.

Resolved

So I'm spending the rest of my holidays with friends and the boy.

It's a new year soon and hopefully a new party in a new place and job.

In just over a week, I will be pulling out my roots and re potting myself in Georgia.

Because of such I'm breaking the tradition of not making resolutions.

In this new year, I want to...

Eat healthier.

I'm not a wanna be health nut. I still plan on eating ice cream every time I feel like it. I am still of the opinion that I can justify anything. Ice cream does have calcium after all. But I also realise that eating nothing all day except six oranges and half a bag of chips is not all that helpful.

Smile more.

I'm told I have a beautiful smile. Although I'm still doubtful that there is little about it that is all that special except that I tend to pull it out more than most. This past year has been kind of rough for multiple reasons and my smile hasn't been out as often as it use to. There's always a bright side. I believe in the power of a smile and a kind word. I can change the world with just that.

Keep in touch.

I have this horrible habit of letting good friends fall by the wayside. If they don't keep track of me, I don't find the time to keep track of them. The one promise I break the most is the one where I promise to keep in touch. Lost friendships because of lack of effort hurt the most. I'm not going to give up on people anymore.

Love more.

'Nuff Said.

Wrapped Up

I woke up this morning wrapped up in M's arms. I absolutely love that feeling.

Best.

Christmas.

Ever.

Nevermind several thousand awkward moments meeting his family for the first time. Yipes!

Hope you all got to spend Christmas with your loved ones.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!

Mistake?

It was just a kiss.

That's what I told him. It didn't mean anything.

But when does a kiss really mean nothing?

Never.

This kiss was about a missed opportunity. A crush that never quite made it through.

It was a promise that maybe someday.

It was a lie that I never wanted anything more.

The first was a gift.

The second...

well that one was a wish.