Friday, February 20, 2009

I'm in trouble at work
again.
I screwed up. But not this time. I wasn't giving any attitude. I was just trying to do my job. I was trying to do what I was told. But I still somehow got it wrong.
My ideas are stupid. He doesn't want to hear them anymore. He doesn't want to hear any more of my fucking ideas.
I couldn't look him in the eye. I didn't want to draw attention to the hurt I felt.
I was crying. I couldn't help it.
And that just pissed him off even more.
He called me a baby. A fucking baby. He cussed me up and down.
Didn't I want to learn? He was trying to teach me something and I wasn't even listening.

I did want to learn. I was listening. I just couldn't look at him and maintain any semblance of composure.

He cussed me again and told me he couldn't fucking stand to look at me. 'Go to the house.'

Why was he cussing at me? I was trying to do what he told me. He just didn't tell me exactly how he wanted me to do it. And I got in trouble for not doing it exactly the way he wanted it done.

I know I'm not making much sense. But somehow I'm feeling like my world is toppling around me. Is it me? I'm starting to think it is. Am I that hard to work with? What about me makes bosses scream and cuss at me? Will I ever find a job again that I can be appreciated and not torn down?
He threatened to fire me.
What should I do?

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